My Arabic Blog

Sunday, June 25, 2006

عندي سوال

الان انتهيت كتاب عن اسرة باكستانية التي يسكن في انكلترة - اسمه
Maps for Lost Lovers by Nadeem Aslam.

فها قسة حجينة جدا عن امرأة التي زوجها قال لها:
"I divorce you"
تلات مرات ودعد ذلك
they were divorced.
ولكن الزوج قال هذه كلمات بينما هو
was drunk
واليوم التالي، تاب ما فعل ولكن كان متاخرا جدا وما استطعا أن تزوجا حط أنها تتزوج رجل اخر. هل هذا صحيح؟

In English. . . the husband was drunk and said "I divorce you" three times and in that instant the couple were divorced in Islam and he couln't remarry her until she had married and divorced someone else. It was too tragic for her because they had a son and she was separated from him. I want to know if this scenario is accurate according to Islam. Can a husband really divorce his wife that immediately? And does she lose her right to live with her children?

اسفة لأكتب كتيرة في انجليزي. . . أتمني أن تفهمني.

ما تفعل هذه عطلة الأسبوع؟

9 Comments:

At 5:37 AM, Blogger >>Sama Oman said...

That's true Nancy. In Islam if the husband said 3 times you are divorce, then they will not allowed to go back together until she remarry another man and when the second man divorcing her, she can marry her first husband. But there are strict conditions for all that. The man should be mean it and not DRUNK (WOW, drinking is not allowed in Islam, so he did forbid thing!!!). he wasn't in his consciousness when he did that, so I guess it can't be consider it as a real divorce. That's must be determine by a religious man. Anyway, Islam hates divorce and it's the most thing God hates, so the men and wives should be careful with this thing. It's terrible to do wrong and then blame others. It's good story to educate men and families about how it's horrible to say words that destroy families.

 
At 5:43 AM, Blogger >>Sama Oman said...

هل القصة بالعربي ام بالانجليزي؟
أعتقد انها بالانجليزية كونك لم تعرفي الكلمات .
عموماً كما قلت سابقاً الرجل كان في حالة سكر ...سكران ...لهذا لا يمكن اعتبار ما قاله في حالة وعي و انها قصد حقاً الطلاق في وعيه و ادراكه.
كما انه ارتكب امر رهيب اخر وهو السكر ، شرب المسكرات و الخمور محرم في الاسلام ولا يجوز للمسلم التقي الملتزم ان يشرب الخمور التي تذهب عقله و تجعله يترنح بلا وعي و لا ادراك.
كما ان الطرق مع انه حلال فهو مبغوض ...أبغض الحلال عند الله هو الطلاق ، فلا يجوز ان يتلاعب الرجال بهذا الامر الكبير الذي يدمر عائلات و يشرد أطفال و يفكك وحدة الاسرة.
كما ان هناك قوانين وشروط صارمة جداً تحيط بامر الطلاق نفسه.
عموماً القصة حقاً جيدة كونها تثقف و تعلم الناس ان ينتبهوا و لا يتهورا في ما يقولون و يفعلون.
شكراً على اشراكنا في الموضوع يا نانسي
****

كنت اقرا عدة كتب في نهاية الاسبوع وجدتها صدفة

كما اني قد اخرج مع العائلة او ربما تاتي اختي الكبيرة لزيارتنا.
:)

 
At 12:52 PM, Blogger Me2 said...

according to my knowlage,, yes a man can devorce a woman by saying those words three times, b ut there's rules for it
but it's not that easy anyway
some men use that right cuz they don't really understand the rules behind it
it's a very senstive issue
as there's a hadeeth for the prophet mohammad talking about three things can't be taken as fun,, one of them was about devorce, islam wants people to be carful when they use their rights,, so the devorce was after saying it three times,, after searching about it, some sheekhs consider when a man say the devorce words even if he said it many times they considers it only one so he can change his mind after thinking again for the sake of children, usually sheekhs won't consider that devorce you said cuz he wasn't aware of his words,, but you know that drinking isn't allowed in islam as you can see it was a reason of something bad, simply,, the one who drinks can kill or rape or do anything that's wrong cuz he can't feel what he's doing.
devorce has rules,, the man can use it only when there's no other way & the life became unbareable between both of them,, a woman can ask for devorce too, but for the family sake they both should think about it,, islam left it to their selfconscious... but some can be unfair & use it againest his wife just to hurt her & sometimes woman ask for it when she's not comfortable in her life with him, sometimes she miss use it for her own sake nevr matter about her children,, as it happens everywhere,, there's no real clear rule,,, but no man should use it as a game or as having fun & that's one of many reasons why islam allowed having another wife,, so the devorce option won't be a reason to marry another
also when the woman can't return to her husband except after marrying another man,, was a way to give that woman a chance for another life maybe better than the one she lived with the first one,,, and that the man learn from his mistake if he couldn't return to her or when he returns if she had devorce for any reason,,, so he'll be carful & wont repeat it,, of course marrying another man can't be just a way to return back together,,, some people use it that way & it's wrong
also a man can't devorce a woman when she's pregnant so he must be sure that she's not before devorcing her,, that can help to solve problems & give them a chance to think about it again,, if he devorced her she can stay at her home for about three or four month depending on her period,, if she wants to,, she can do whtever makes her husband gets her back,, ( if it wasn't the 3rd time he devorce her)
in Quraan there's a clear text telling us that it's the worst thing that god hate
that was a long explaination,, sorry i have a problem in delevering the information to people in simple words

لم أضيف الكثير إلى ما قالته سما في ردودها إلا القليل من التفاصيل التي قد توضح الأمور
و أحب أن أضيف أيضا أن الطلاق عامة متروك لضمير الرجل وعادة الأشخاص (الجيدون) إما لا يطلقون المرأة إلا عندما تطلب هي أو لا يطلقون نهائيا طالما هما مرتاحان معا
أما من يطلقون كثيرا و يلعبون بكلمة الطلاق فهم اناس ضميرهم غائب للأسف
و بالرغم من أن الإسلام لم يحدد قواعد واضحة للطلاق إلا أن بالرغم من أنه ليس بهذه السهولة و لكنك قد ترين أنه يمكن أن يكون في صالح المرأة أيضا إذا إستخدم بالطريقة السليمة مثلا عندما ترى أنها غير مرتاحة لأي سبب من الأسباب

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger Me2 said...

sorry i forgot about the children
there's rules & usually it's about what's better for their children,, it depends on what they decide together
but as any human beings,,, some people also use children to hurt the otherone
so the governments managed to put some laws to control this situation so they can keep the parental rights safe
some non arab muslim countries & cuz they don't read arabic, have this problem in understanding & applying the islamic rules that make others think that it's islamic rules
& most the arab & muslim countries are not really living the right islamic life,, as cultures & other effects affected their way of thinking & the way they acting,, that confuse others thinking that it's the islamic way while it's not

 
At 3:19 PM, Blogger Me2 said...

sorry for being noisy :)
i found a link maybe can explain a little
http://63.175.194.25/words/rulings_on_divorce/rulings_on_divorce.shtml
& here's a link have most of the topics related to islam
http://www.islamworld.net/
i guess better to give you a trusted site,, i know many people are confused for what they hear about islam & knowing betterr about it from a trusted site or person ,, knowalage won't hurt :)

 
At 2:55 PM, Blogger ~ se3loah ~ said...

مرحبا يانانسي

أحببت أن اقول لك .. لا تيأسي من التعلم أعلم أن بعض الكلمات العربية صعبة في البداية ولكن مع الممارسة ستتحدثين العربية أفضل مني
:)

سعيدة بالتعرف عليك .. وأتمنى أن نكون أصدقاء

 
At 11:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 3:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Nancy,
Actually if he said it 1 or ten times at once it only considered one time, to get to the 3 times they should get divorced, get to gether htne divorced again then get together then get divorced again and this is the third time where she can't get back to him unless she got married to another person and got divorced (it should not be the intention of her other marriage other wise it is not acceptable by islam)
Now for being drunk I can't give you a fatwa but if he was not drunk and said it as a joke it is counted as one, there is a prophet'a hadeeth which mentioned 3 things in life if you say it serious or joking it is done, marriage, divorce, unfortunately I don't remember the third, which is to teach people to take these important matters seriously.

You Arabic is excellent, good job :)
Regards..
A.

 
At 3:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oops sorry did not read Me2's comment i only read the first thats why I wanted to clarify, but Me2 did a great job..
A.

 

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